Tiramisu Cheesecakes

So, this year I don't have a Valentine in the traditional sense of partner in life and love... and that is OK. It is not that I am opposed to that sentiment in any way. I think that good things will come in time. This year, I am in love with me! I am giving me what I need, nurturing myself! I feel like the past few years have been a culmination of hard times and emotional changes. I have gone through times of insecurity and times of true joy. It has been a roller coaster! But at the end of this month, I am making a change that should allow so much of that uncertainty and insecurity to go away. I am making a leap! It is long overdue and I am a little scared... but I am so ready to let go and move forward in whatever life has waiting for me.

Of course this Valentine's Day, I hold in my heart everyone who has been true to me and stands by me. I love you all and hope that I show you everyday. I guess this Valentine's Day for me is more like a homecoming, coming back to me; coming full circle. Shedding the past and really just letting me shine. It feels GOOD!

Happy Valentine's Day and remember Love Begins in the Kitchen!!

Black Bottomed Nutella Mini Cheesecakes

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope that you all had a Valentine's Day weekend as awesome as I did!!  I know that this recipe is late, but I have yet to master releasing a post when the recipe to be posted is a gift or surprise. Of course, I made these little cheesecakes for my guy! (Remember the slogan here at Bonbons and Biscotti: Love Begins in the Kitchen!!) The reason for the delay is I was just finishing up the post as he was about to leave his house and I was afraid he might see it before he got here. So... I had to make a choice and because of him, you get this recipe late. Sorry... a girl has to have priorities!!

But don't worry, I love y'all too! So... this weekend, we ate one of these delicious, Nutella cheesecakes for each of you (my devoted readers) and as always, I am sending you love!

XOXO

Espresso Cheesecake with Dark Chocolate Ganache

OK, I have started this blog at least 15 times and then erased it each time. Usually, I am not so challenged with WORDS! On this post, I can not seem to figure out how to express what I want to say. After much thought and time, (this cheesecake was made for a birthday on Dec 19th) I realized it was not the words that had me stumped, it was the meaning of those words and my concern about sharing too many of my feelings. So.....

You have probably heard the saying "We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our paths for a reason." In September, a really phenomenal person crossed my path in the most unusual way, and he has turned out to be one of the best things that has happened to me! It is true that when you are least expecting it, someone truly amazing can come into your life and makes a huge impact. My guy has done that!

I do not want to say much more than that now. I know... I know!!!! I have shared so much on this blog already. What is the big deal??? I guess, I am just enjoying every minute of NOW! and I want to hold onto it all for a little while longer. This is all very new, and I am so hopeful that in the future, I will have so much to share with you! Just know that right now, this girl is soooo happy and can't wait to see what is to come!

Happy Birthday B! XOXO

Cranberry Bliss Bars

So what else can we say about this recipe? So many bloggers have made this and shared their ideas, but I had to give it a try. As most people know, this is one of Starbucks' Holiday desserts that people wait all year for! There is good reason for that. Aside from being a sure sign that Christmas is coming, this recipe is just "good stuff." Be warned! It is super sweet ....so you might only want one! In that case, maybe Starbucks is  your best bet, but if you want enough to share, make your own!  It is super easy and unlike Starbucks you will not be paying $4 per bar.

Apple Pecan Autumn Cheesecake

It is getting to be that time of the year when most of the people in my circle have their B-days! What does that mean for me?? Baking! From now till January it seems that someone is celebrating every week. If there is one thing that I love, it is making birthday cakes, pies, cookies, cheesecake... you name it. I know that I have talked about this before but I will say it again. My Mom was the "birthday cake queen" in our little community (see Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake.) She made every birthday during my childhood memorable with one of her fabulous custom cakes. In our house, a cake from the grocery store was unheard of. While shopping at the local market, we would walk past those cakes encrusted in mountains of jumbo, blue-tinged roses and cringe. What poor person is going to celebrate another year of life with Happy Birthday written in an illegible smear? My Mom was determined that we never would!!

She has passed that ideal on to both my sister and I. No store bought birthdays here!! Even my little sister who would hide every time that baking was even mentioned, has morphed into a Birthday Cake artist; every year making amazing cakes for her son. She stresses out about the task for about 2 months beforehand, but she pulls them out and they are beautiful! When asked why she does it, she says that she wants her son to remember his Mom, taking the time to do something really special like our Mom did.  And he does!  He is amazingly proud every year of what his Mom has made.

Happy Birthday, Nancy! Another Year, Another Cheesecake!!

Banana Pudding Cheesecake

This recipe is somewhat symbolic of my life right now. Let's just say that it is BANANAS!! Yes, and not in a good way. This week marks the end of my marriage of 10 years (relationship of 14 years.) It has been a horrible past 3 years and it is coming to an end. I have so many mixed emotions right now and unfortunately everyone else has an idea of how I should feel or act. Some have even suggested that I have a party. Obviously, they have not gone through this process. I am a person who does not give up and the downward spiral of the past few years has made me feel very let down in myself and all things that I believed were good and trustworthy. In my heart, I know that I have tried all that I could possibly have, I loved, I listened, I cared, and I tried so hard, even at times I knew I could never break through. So many of my friends and family have watched my struggle; that is the best word for it, a struggle. I kept hoping and trying that everything could be worked out and it couldn't.  I never considered divorce to be a choice for my life,  but as I have learned all of what I did was not enough to overcome life's obstacles or how people change over the years.  Through all the trying and pain, not only have I lost someone that was the most important person in my life at one time; I have lost myself. And that is a sad place to be. I gave and gave and gave and I lost myself.

This week I have allowed myself to finally mourn this process and yes there have been tears. In so many ways, this is a death of a huge part of my life.  Now I have to move on and find out who the new Rebecca is and unfortunately that will be very difficult. I have so many choices to make right now; personally, professionally and all of them can affect me for years to come. I am moving forward slowly, cautiously and most importantly making every decision for me, something I need to learn how to do again. Please keep me in your prayer and send love in my direction.

XOXO

Rebecca

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Peanut Butter Cheesecake

If you LOVE Peanut Butter Cups you have to make this cheesecake!!

One thing that I love to do is make some one's birthday a little more special by baking them something that is really fabulous. Usually I end up choosing something complicated, I am not sure why.... I guess it is my chance to try out some really amazing recipes that I have been hoarding and not have to eat the whole thing by myself!  Sometimes, after spending 4-6 hours on one of these recipe endeavours, the finished product is truly a labor of love. So why do I do it? Because in my family, my Mom always made sure that we had a beautiful, homemade cake of our choice; one that would set the theme of our birthday. My sister and I would wait and watch her construct a cake in different shapes or characters, excited about every piped rose or scalloped edge of icing that was lovingly put on our cake. Then, at our party, dressed in our new birthday outfit,  we would proudly sit behind our Alf or Pink Palace Cake and get that important birthday cake picture. Some of those pictures are the best of my childhood;  with a huge smile and light in my eyes. I was always so proud of my cake but I was always more proud of my mom! Although she had her Master's in Education, she decided to give it all up for a little while to raise my sister and I.  Early on in that process, she was gifted a cake decorating kit from my Grandma C. Whether out of boredom or her love for all things artistic, she began to practice her "cake art skills." Soon with the encouragement of others, she had a pretty popular cake business. Since she is artistic, friends and family could bring her a napkin with E.T. on it or a picture of their favorite 57 Chevy and she would draw the design freehand, transfer it to the cake and with piping bags and icing, make it come to life. Due to the time and love she put into each cake, her cakes were in high demand and her customers really appreciated the chance to have a custom cake.

Me with my 4th birthday cake

Until I left my parent's house, my mom made every birthday cake that I ever had. She also took on the large task of making my sister and my wedding cakes. Every one of the cakes that were made for me are still special to me. The memory of cakes being prepared and decorated in my house is something that  I associate with my childhood (it is one of those "kitchen memories" that I spoke about in my "About" section.) My Mom's cakes were ever present in our house, as were the happy people who would come to pick up her masterpieces. In our little community, my Mom helped many families celebrate their birthdays, weddings, retirements and all of life's big milestones.  She became part of their personal stories; part of their history.

I guess in some way, I hope to do the same thing. I bake for others to show my love, to see them smile, to let them know I appreciate them and to become part of their personal history...

 

Nutella Chocolate Cheesecake

Nutella Chocolate Cheescake- Enjoy!

It has been a crazy few weeks. I received a last minute offer on my house and that has put me into a kind of frenzy.  I have been packing, sorting, tossing and stressing!  If you have read my "About" section, you already know when times get tough I head to the kitchen! It is in my blood, I can't help it. So here I am in "kitchen therapy" mode making something delicious for no other reason than to clear my mind and loose myself in the process.  Not only does stress make me bake, it also makes me want chocolate. So what better than a Nutella Chocolate Cheesecake. This recipe has been on my "To Do List" for some time and I pulled it out this week, got the ingredients, turned on some Florence and the Machine, Arctic Monkeys and the National and got to work. The steps of a recipe to me combined with the hum of the mixer and the upbeat music lifts my spirits. And as always I am accompanied by my best friend, and kitchen helper, Charlie.

My ever-present best friend

I guess in the back of my mind I have always known, but this year I have really identified that fact that I love making and doing things with my hands; baking, gardening, knitting and even my everyday job requires using my hands to make a difference. And that is exactly what I have done for myself this year, I have made a difference.

What was I worried about again??